[There are reasons why the Empire has rules against fraternization between superiors and their subordinates; there are several, in fact, and Alexei is certain that they're very good reasons, and fortunately for everyone he can't remember any of them at this exact point in time.
It leads to the entire thing feeling off somehow, wrong for the sake of some vague notion that he can't bring himself to care about; right now he's just focused on what they're doing, and to a lesser extent on the idea that if he hadn't told Schwann to do this in the first place he would have simply left without doing it because whatever common sense he has left would have won out, and he isn't altogether sure if that would have been for the better but that hardly matters now, does it. Right now they're doing this and Schwann is kissing him and if this had happened a while earlier Suga wouldn't have looked at him like that, maybe. It's...not particularly mind-blowing, if he's honest; nothing against Schwann, granted, he's sure he's good enough at this, it's just an odd thing for a first experience and it's...
...He doesn't hate it? He absolutely doesn't hate it and the idea of doing this with most people is kind of repulsive. If the experience is going to be weird either way, that at least seems like a point in the weird thing's favor.
When he pulls Schwann closer against him it's a firm enough gesture, though not so much so that it can't be broken off if anyone really wanted to. This is...good, he decides, in that way he has of overthinking literally everything; he has no experience with this sort of thing but they both went into this knowing that, and fortunately enough kissing is hardly brain surgery and he learns quickly enough.]
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It leads to the entire thing feeling off somehow, wrong for the sake of some vague notion that he can't bring himself to care about; right now he's just focused on what they're doing, and to a lesser extent on the idea that if he hadn't told Schwann to do this in the first place he would have simply left without doing it because whatever common sense he has left would have won out, and he isn't altogether sure if that would have been for the better but that hardly matters now, does it. Right now they're doing this and Schwann is kissing him and if this had happened a while earlier Suga wouldn't have looked at him like that, maybe. It's...not particularly mind-blowing, if he's honest; nothing against Schwann, granted, he's sure he's good enough at this, it's just an odd thing for a first experience and it's...
...He doesn't hate it? He absolutely doesn't hate it and the idea of doing this with most people is kind of repulsive. If the experience is going to be weird either way, that at least seems like a point in the weird thing's favor.
When he pulls Schwann closer against him it's a firm enough gesture, though not so much so that it can't be broken off if anyone really wanted to. This is...good, he decides, in that way he has of overthinking literally everything; he has no experience with this sort of thing but they both went into this knowing that, and fortunately enough kissing is hardly brain surgery and he learns quickly enough.]