Once Upon PCs | Alexei

[reallyfishy]

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week 1 | monday

[reallyfishy]

[So, uh. Given how So Much their host's introduction was, Raven opts to sort through his thoughts and visit Alexei early in the following morning. He gently knocks against Alexei's door, as if this were any other day and he's requesting permission to enter his chambers.

It's definitely not that, but it's a sense of normalcy to cling to for the time being.]

[ideismo]

[If he's going to be honest, he needed the space - both to sort through exactly how So Much their host is, to say nothing of how So Much this entire situation is, but also to work out his feelings on what he's been told by Raven so far regarding the timeline.

He still isn't pleased with it; he certainly doesn't like it any. But it can be salvaged; almost everything can be salvaged.

He'll let Raven in without any sort of hesitation or needless delay, unlocking the door and
permitting entry simply enough; he seems to have settled well enough between this meeting and their last.]

I trust the morning finds you well, at least as compared to last night.

[reallyfishy]

[Despite his appearance being what it is, the moment he walks through Alexei's door he's in Schwann mode. Raven isn't Alexei's, after all.]

It certainly found me, but "well" could be considered a stretch. I spent much of the night processing what we learned yesterday.

[He'll stand at attention until Alexei directs him where to go, for now simply taking in the atmosphere. It's less tense, which is nice.]

What of yourself, sir?

[ideismo]

[He can sense the shift immediately, despite current appearances; it confirms what had been discussed earlier. Perhaps more importantly it's good enough; say what one will about Raven, but Schwann has always been his - someone he can speak freely in front of if nothing else.

The gesture he offers is vague but not without purpose; remain nearer to the door, but relax if you will.]

...Well enough. Better once I've confirmed for myself that no one has turned up dead this morning; the situation is far from ideal.

[It's brisk and straightforward, but less aggressively strange.]

Our host has offered us a fair amount to take in, but I find the fact that he holds to such a nonsensical premise to be interesting; I would be more concerned about him if he tried to pretend that this is all for some higher purpose - pure hedonism is almost refreshingly selfish. I can't respect it, but I can appreciate the candor.

[reallyfishy]

[Schwann does as he's told and assumes his usual stance that he holds in Alexei's presence. At the ready, but also at ease...as much as one can hope to be in this situation.]

I suppose we can't put it past someone to try this quickly.

[Thankfully, they won't turn up any bodies. A miracle.

As for Hamelin...]

Which part: turning killing into a game, or that we're apparently staking lives on having wishes granted? We really agreed to this...

[Though it's not exactly productive, he can't help but mutter it. That's what's tripping him up the most.]

week 1 | post-trial

[ideismo]

[Alexei is and isn't at whatever attempts at unity are being made after the trial; he'll show up, occasionally, only to pace back out again before too long - never leaving the grounds, but not staying too close to any one place in particular with regards to the building.

His thoughts are many and varied, and in some ways he'd prefer to be alone with them; in other ways he's at least mildly aware that being left alone with his thoughts for long enough has historically never worked out well for anyone. Whether he actually expresses them or not, he would prefer to not be completely alone, but he finds that he has no interest in speaking to most at that gathering.

That's what brings him, in the end, to Room 17; the knock on the door is unhesitating but not demanding.]

[reallyfishy]

[Schwann's been scarce since the trial ended. He's...never been good at consoling and comforting others in hard times, and he has a lot of his own thoughts to process, so he retired to his room early.

He's lying in bed with the lights off when he hears a knock. Blearily, he rises to his feet and flips the light back on before answering the door. Oh...]

Alexei, sir. What can I do for you?

[ideismo]

Am I interrupting you...?

[He doubts it, but the fact that he's bothering to ask instead of simply assuming that he isn't is sort of. ...It's a thing.]

Tonight has proven difficult. I found myself interested in hearing your thoughts.

[reallyfishy]

[It sure is a thing, and it catches Schwann off guard. His mouth hangs slightly agape until he realizes he's just standing there and not saying anything.]

...No, of course not. I was just resting. [Something he can return to later.] Please, come in.

[He backs away from the door and offers Alexei his bed to sit on, or the vanity seat if he'd prefer that.]

I realize that the answer to this is obvious, but are you all right?

[It warrants asking anyway.]

[ideismo]

[Thank you for not just continuing to stare at him, Schwann, for fuck's sake.

...That isn't where he wants to direct his agitation, however, so he'll just. let it go for now. Come in. Take the vanity seat because taking the bed doesn't strike him well.]

...Not as poorly as many of the others seem to be, at any rate.

[Which he still does not seem to have figured out after all this time, that being comparatively all right does not mean that he is in fact all right.]

They're taking this hard, despite all the self-righteous anger earlier.

week 3 | wednesday

[reallyfishy]

[After a walk back from the bar spawned the most awkward conversation and subsequent argument of Raven's life, he stumbles into his room with Alexei in tow to continue it.

Closing the door behind him, he briefly contemplates sliding down the back of it, but with Alexei right there it wouldn't exactly do him much good.]

Okay. [He takes in a deep breath as if trying to psych himself up into continuing.] All right, so... I suppose my first question is why?

[At least now Alexei only has to deal with drunk Schwann instead of drunk Raven.]

[ideismo]

[He has spent the past several hours dealing with Drunk Goddamn Everyone; Drunk Schwann is...new but not an altogether insurmountable task, conversationally.]

...I'm not certain. This isn't something I would normally even consider in such a way; you're well aware of that.

[reallyfishy]

More than anyone. To be honest, I never would've considered it either.

[Which is why it's throwing him off so much. It was so much more simple when he was able to be at Alexei's side when needed and then fuck off to Dahngrest when he wasn't- not having to factor feelings into the equation. Alexei has always been the same way, if not even more so as of late...

Ugh, he's not going to read into that, it's bad enough already. It sure would've been better for everyone involved if his one drunk braincell didn't have to speak up so loudly!!]

You're my superior, and I'm supposed to serve you, not...

[He gestures vaguely, unsure how to properly phrase it. Beyond their professional relationship, there's also everything else that Alexei has put him through. There's a reason why he tries to shut off his emotions while he's Schwann, so this... It's so messy and complicated.]

[ideismo]

Then it ought to be left as a matter of propriety, if nothing else.

[Shouldn't it? That seems the most prudent in terms of behavioral standards, at least - fraternizing is unacceptable, and so that should be the end of things.

A lot of the things he's been doing lately are unacceptable.

That doesn't change that this is...]

I haven't lost sight of where that particular line is, regardless of what we may or may not have said.

[reallyfishy]

Yes, and I do believe you.

[This started out very uncomfortable, but how Alexei is handling it helps lessen that somewhat. The problem is, just knowing is so much, because now that he's thinking about it...]

I...don't hate the idea.

[The possibility of fraternizing. There are probably much kinder ways to phrase it, but this is Schwann we're talking about, and Drunk Schwann at that.

Maybe he shouldn't be trying to process all of this while drunk, come to think about it. But he has yet to stop and consider that.]

week 4 | post-trial

[ideismo]

[The reason he's here is utterly different than the reason he was here last week; he's glad to have some distance from it, to be able to reset himself mentally to the way things were before the...all of that. He's here tonight to check on Schwann - to make sure that everything is as it should be, that's all; anything beyond that is categorically well beyond him and his desire to put much thought into things.

The knock is direct; as usual it's unhesitating without being a demand.]

[reallyfishy]

[Given what they'd been through today, Schwann's only expecting this to be a serious discussion anyway.

So when he hears Alxei's telltale knock, he's quick to answer.]

Sir.

[...and just as quick to make way for Alexei to enter.]

[ideismo]

[And he will, though he doesn't move to sit anywhere; he just finds somewhere fairly near the door and stays where he is.]

Today was difficult. Are you- ...How have you been managing, after all of that?

[reallyfishy]

[Okay... Schwann's not sure what to do with himself now, so he awkwardly stands nearby.]

I could be doing better.

[He won't make a big deal out of Alexei checking in on him again, but the appreciation is still very much there.]

Seeing Norton's body was...difficult. [Yeah, difficult's a good word, so he repeats it.] And what Rika revealed about her circumstances is something I don't think I can even begin to process.

[ideismo]

[...This is so goddamn awkward all around.]

I understand.

[Particularly as regards Norton; he didn't see it in person, but frankly he's another one that wouldn't have responded well to dismembered bodies on the beach.]

Would you prefer being left on your own tonight, then?

week 5 | post-trial

[ideismo]

[Alexei doesn't go down to the dungeons often; he's been here once since he got here, solely to see what was down in this area, and he hasn't been back since.

It should bother him, that he's coming down for this. But he's had some time for himself, time enough to get whatever feelings he may be having under control, time enough to hate himself and let the hatred just freeze everything over, the way it always does.

He isn't sure if it's harder for him to do that nowadays or not. He thinks it might be; he thinks that's a bad sign. Loss of control like that is nothing but a weakness to be exploited; it gets people killed.

If he had done better - if he'd been enough for once in his godforsaken life - then maybe he would be down here instead.

But for now he makes his way down, and he pauses a bit before entering the corridor, before finding the person he's looking for in whichever of these cells he may happen to be.]

Schwann.

[It's cold, blunted. He hates this already.]

[reallyfishy]

[The last time this scenario played out, Alexei was the one freeing him from his cell. It has a very different feeling this time around.

Schwann is laying down on the bench when he hears someone approach. He slowly but surely lifts himself up by the time Alexei arrives.

...

And when he does, he slowly gets onto his knees.]

I am ready to accept the punishment for my failure.

[It doesn't feel right to start with anything else but that.]

[ideismo]

It's not mine to administer.

[That's... It's sharper than he wanted it to be. Harsh.

He takes a moment. Tries to breathe.]

Besides, you've done nothing to warrant it.

[reallyfishy]

[He flinches at the sharpness, but doesn't move from his position. He grips tightly at his pants as he keeps his head bowed.]

I was supposed to walk away from this, not be in here. I- I shouldn't have let Tenn examine me. If I hadn't, maybe the votes wouldn't have been as close.

[But the only thing that he could think at the time were those words ringing in his ears. The things that Alexei shouted at Makoto.

In that moment, he couldn't stand the thought of Alexei going out over him, even if his dream would still be achieved in the end.]

[ideismo]

You shouldn't have. And yet knowing all of that, you did anyway. It's unlike you to be careless, much less deliberately so.

[And that's part of what's been bothering him, the knowledge that Schwann knew what his orders were, he knew that failure would be unacceptable. And yet...]

You knew what would happen if you allowed that. Why did you?