...I admit that it had never occurred to me that you might want something like this to begin with.

[Certainly not with him, at any rate; he's never believed that Schwann hates him entirely, but there's always been a general understanding that there's something there that Alexei isn't allowed near. He's always known that, and he's always understood why; it's just one of many things that they don't talk about.

So to say this is unexpected is an understatement; it's not an unpleasant thought, it's just unfamiliar, something that he'll work through on his own time.]

Either way, of course I'm willing to stay. I want to.