[Schwann's gaze drifts when Alexei says that. Though it's not visible, he feels that familiar pang of guilt that's becoming increasingly present the more he spends time away from Alexei as Raven.
He swallows it down, and forcibly softens his expression before meeting Alexei's gaze again.]
Of course I do, and I'm sure that's what it is.
[After all, someone like him doesn't have any right to make wishes for themself, let alone kill for them. That goes for Raven, too.]
[He doesn't answer that immediately, though when he nods the gesture is tight; this whole situation is... It's getting to him more than he's willing to admit, perhaps.]
My own dreams haven't changed; I'm fairly sure I know what I've been offered. I also know well enough that it isn't something so easily solved.
He can offer me all the miracles he likes. I have no intention of acting on anything, as things stand.
[He nods at that. Part of him wants to be reassured to hear that Alexei's dreams are the same despite how off he's been lately, but at the same time...have his methods changed?
At least he has confirmation that Alexei won't be using these methods.]
I didn't think you would. After the amount of work that you've put into your dreams, I would imagine that Hamelin's offer would come off as more of an insult than anything.
[There are also other concerns - the scale of what he wants is, in the end, world-changing; it isn't enough to just handwave some sort of miracle with no way to control or predict the fallout. The potential for things to go society-shatteringly wrong is incredibly present, and not something he can just dismiss or ignore in favor of chasing his own goals. This has always been for everyone else: for those still living under the Empire, for those who don't know they require it, for those who have gone before and left him behind to continue on for them.
It's an insult, yes, but it's also just a logistically terrible decision, and he has difficulty seeing himself carry through with it. But that is neither here nor there.]
And yet something must have made this sound like an acceptable idea, assuming we can believe that we're willing participants in all of this. It troubles me, to put it gently, as do many of the other things that seem to be occurring in this place.
[...]
Near Nordopolica, I believe you said...? Regarding where you were last.
You know I wouldn't mind if you didn't word it gently. The fact that so many kids have been brought into this is just...
[It's so fucked up and he doesn't even know how to describe it better than that right now. Rather than being crass in front of the Commandant, he instead latches onto the return of their previous conversation. About what was going on back in Terca Lumireis.]
Yes. We had just passed back through the Weasand of Cados from Mantaic. It was almost time for me to deliver that letter from Whitehorse to Palestralle's leader, Belius.
[...]
We passed through a barricade on the way. Was that your idea?
Well, it certainly didn't make getting to Nordopolica easy. You had the entire city on lockdown. Do you really think Belius had something to do with the Great War?
[Thanks for not explaining anything as usual, Alexei. Schwann's expression hardens slightly, but he's quick to let it go and simply nod instead.]
As long as he doesn't interfere with me and the others meeting Belius any more than his brigade already has. I'm doing my best to keep them focused on that rather than question what's going on.
You shouldn't meet with anything from him that will utterly derail you, as that isn't his job; I don't trust him in at all the same way that I put my trust in you, but he's decent at what he does. Predictable.
He's one of those that's here for the right reasons. He harbors few delusions about what it is we do, and yet he strives for improvement. Not to the point of insubordination; just enough to be noticed.
[Flynn certainly did have his ways of making an impression, one way or another. Alexei doesn't usually think about him too deeply; there are a lot of reasons for that.]
[He'll accept it easily, reading it over reasonably quickly before handing it back; he doesn't think Hamelin necessarily has a way to spy on them, but with his particular sort of magic in play he feels it's for the best not to take too long with that visible.]
I see... Let me know if you find anything. It sounds like an interesting prospect, especially if there's anything or anyone operating from outside of the situation. I don't want to put my faith in anything that isn't warranting it, but it's something to keep in mind.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He swallows it down, and forcibly softens his expression before meeting Alexei's gaze again.]
Of course I do, and I'm sure that's what it is.
[After all, someone like him doesn't have any right to make wishes for themself, let alone kill for them. That goes for Raven, too.]
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My own dreams haven't changed; I'm fairly sure I know what I've been offered. I also know well enough that it isn't something so easily solved.
He can offer me all the miracles he likes. I have no intention of acting on anything, as things stand.
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At least he has confirmation that Alexei won't be using these methods.]
I didn't think you would. After the amount of work that you've put into your dreams, I would imagine that Hamelin's offer would come off as more of an insult than anything.
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[There are also other concerns - the scale of what he wants is, in the end, world-changing; it isn't enough to just handwave some sort of miracle with no way to control or predict the fallout. The potential for things to go society-shatteringly wrong is incredibly present, and not something he can just dismiss or ignore in favor of chasing his own goals. This has always been for everyone else: for those still living under the Empire, for those who don't know they require it, for those who have gone before and left him behind to continue on for them.
It's an insult, yes, but it's also just a logistically terrible decision, and he has difficulty seeing himself carry through with it. But that is neither here nor there.]
And yet something must have made this sound like an acceptable idea, assuming we can believe that we're willing participants in all of this. It troubles me, to put it gently, as do many of the other things that seem to be occurring in this place.
[...]
Near Nordopolica, I believe you said...? Regarding where you were last.
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[It's so fucked up and he doesn't even know how to describe it better than that right now. Rather than being crass in front of the Commandant, he instead latches onto the return of their previous conversation. About what was going on back in Terca Lumireis.]
Yes. We had just passed back through the Weasand of Cados from Mantaic. It was almost time for me to deliver that letter from Whitehorse to Palestralle's leader, Belius.
[...]
We passed through a barricade on the way. Was that your idea?
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To pause before the answer is brief.]
I sent Flynn there to carry out a mission on my behalf, unrelated to your own. Did he trouble you?
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Well, it certainly didn't make getting to Nordopolica easy. You had the entire city on lockdown. Do you really think Belius had something to do with the Great War?
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[It isn't an answer, but from the tone of it it's the most he's offering right now.]
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As long as he doesn't interfere with me and the others meeting Belius any more than his brigade already has. I'm doing my best to keep them focused on that rather than question what's going on.
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You shouldn't meet with anything from him that will utterly derail you, as that isn't his job; I don't trust him in at all the same way that I put my trust in you, but he's
decent at what he does. Predictable.
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[...]
I'm not surprised he made Captain. He's a good kid, and good for the Knights.
[Which makes the whole Weasand of Cados thing very strange. He's guessing Alexei didn't really explain his orders to Flynn either.]
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I've been aware of him for some time.
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[Enough to make him feel half of something, which surprised even him.]
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[Flynn certainly did have his ways of making an impression, one way or another. Alexei doesn't usually think about him too deeply; there are a lot of reasons for that.]
You seem partial. I can't say that I'm surprised.
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Do I? [That gives him some genuine pause. Alexei noticed?] It's...just not every day that we get such idealistic young recruits like him.
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[There are a lot of things he's been made aware of recently. Nothing easily brought up, but this is relatively harmless.]
It's hardly a criticism, either way.
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[He's trying not to sound flustered, but when he's usually so stoic it's kind of hard to hide.]
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[He's a lot of things. "Soft" isn't the first thing to come to mind.]
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True.
[...]
Is there anything else that you wanted to discuss at present, sir?
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[He fishes into his pocket and pulls out a note. He passes it over for Alexei to read.]
This was on my person when I woke up, and from what I can tell it's not part of Hamelin's designs. I am currently looking into its authenticity.
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I see... Let me know if you find anything. It sounds like an interesting prospect, especially if there's anything or anyone operating from outside of the situation. I don't want to put my faith in anything that isn't warranting it, but it's something to keep in mind.
Test it as you see fit.
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Understood.
[...]
Considering I arrived as Raven, I find this note suspiciously targeted toward me regardless. A "knight in shining armor" is a bit much, but...
[That is how a lot of the public sees Schwann.]
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[He isn't sure how he should take any of that himself, really. Somewhere between reassuring and irritating, maybe.]
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I've just...never grown accustomed to that view.
[It's awkward, and undeserved.]
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